Thoughts just thoughts that are plaguing my brain
I had a parent this week call me and chew me out for his kiddo missing three minutes of recess. It was a hard thing for me and I am struggling to shake it. One because I feel wounded by the whole interaction. Here is a man who has never met me and has no idea who I am from Adam and before requesting a conference or even having a reasonable conversation with me he assumes that I am out to get his child and that I have the worst intentions for him.Thus he reaps insults on my teaching philosophy and who I am in the classroom before ever seeing me face to face or listening to what I have to say.
In my heart that is so vurniable and open with my kids this is a hard thing to understand. When I tried to talk to him about policies in my classroom I was cut off and told that there was never a reason for his child not to have all of his recess. What I wanted to say was, "well if you are willing for your child to achieve at lower standards then every other child in my classroom and you are willing to allow your child to tell you half truths then I suppose I am also willing to allow this to happen." Is that how I responded? of course not, but by his behavior you would think that I had beaten his child in school.
It never ceases to amaze me that in everything we do in our community of learners there can still be such huge gaps and misunderstandings between parents and teachers. I spend hours a day with these children trying to instill within them a confidence of themselves as learners and people. I work diligently to give everyone a chance to speak and be real within our class, and I am probably one of them most overly reflective teachers I know...often to my own deteriment. How then I ask myself can such misunderstandings and abuse happen between parents and teachers?
I come to this conclusion.... Quite honestly I think the basis of such interactions is fear. I understand that there is a fear of children not being treated with respect, I too suffer from this fear with my own child. I fear that because Miriam is a unique child she will not be held with care as others are,and that because she is overly bold she will be targeted within the classroom as something that she is not. I have a fear that someone else guiding her on a daily basis will affect what I have worked so hard to instill in her and I have a fear that not being present will affect how she sees the world. It is hard to let go and trust that another human who joins me in the journey of education could/would seek to understand her the way that I do. If I as an educator struggle with this how much more so do my own parents?
And so now I am left with the question of how to alleviate these fears within the parents of my own classroom community? Is this even my responsibility? What part do I carry in supporting students and families alike?
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